Gaze Upon Thy...

I suppose that it isn't too early in the year to engage in some useless navel gazing (upon finding the navel that is).  I do this often in the relative obscurity of my own head.  I'd like to believe that many of us do the same, but based on the way people behave, I'm not so sure.

Now, I'm not saying that beating yourself up with an excess of existential angst is good for everyone.  It apparently doesn't work all that well for me, and I do it early and often.  What I am saying is that maybe we all could benefit from a somewhat self critical review from time to time.

Take me for example, I'm always lamenting that my real wage earner and I are under paid.  And we are.  We don't buy new clothes, we don't drive fancy cars or go on exotic vacations.  Or any vacations.  My kids have gotten used to hearing, "That'll have to wait until payday".  One benefit of this is that I think they've stopped asking, unless I've really learned to tune them out.  Another benefit is that perhaps they've begun to think that they'd better learn to manage their money. Now (so we don't take it).

Here is the navel gazing part:  I really can't complain.  Sure, lots of people have more money than we do.  It will always be this way.  Even when we win the lottery and take over the world.  But honestly, we have so much.  We have, all of us, been blessed with good health thus far.  My husband and I are still married (to each other) and I'd venture to say that we even like each other most of the time. (He might say something different, but I'd tell him to re-read the second paragraph, above). The kids go to private schools, get new shoes when needed and even manage to look fashionable at times.  And somehow I find a way to get those nerdy new gadgets (thank heaven the iPhone 2.0 will be out soon, and better than ever).

We don't eat out much, but we do talk about things at dinner and we don't go out much, but we do have game night on Fridays.  So all in all it's not a bad place to be.

Keeping this in mind will make me less apt to complain to myself when I see someone's beautiful new home.  I don't think I'll be as upset when another thing breaks on my car and it'll have to be repaired with a lick and a promise. 

What I do I know for certain is that I'll still be my snarky self and continue to give people a hard time with my stellar verbal skills.  If years of therapy and medication haven't made a difference, certainly navel gazing won't change that either.